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therefore, i am. 
♥ heymoinichinese+russian+sweedish i made this the year i turned a young age of seventeen. DISCLAIMER: i do NOT own any of the pictures i post, unless i state the fact. i obtain pictures from tumblr sites and weheartit.com |
Director's Notes: |
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Friday, April 15, 2011
i dont know what to feel, but i know EXACTLY how im feeling. youre such a nice guy who gets along VERY well with everyone i see you hang around. why couldnt that be me? i feel im not good enough for you and never will be. it makes me so self-conscious my confidence ebbs away with every second i see other people - girls - hang around you and you around them. so then, choosing seats behind you, im always left staring at the back of your head wishing one day you would turn around, catch my eye and smile or wink at me. i wish my body allowed me the confidence. to stand up to you. to grant myself the right to talk. these days, i just feel like crying for no reason. although i perfectly know the reason. the intensity of uni, the amount of people that are prettier than me, feeling like im someone noone wants to hang around me while everyone else boasts about uni friends, the feelings of having to drag myself off of my bed to go to uni... knowing that i cant get what need, let alone what i want. i thought uni would be my break through, an escape to start everything from scratch. thoughts return even though i'd rather push them away. sometimes it seems right to embrace them. i guess i dont hate myself enough for me to change myself... im always the pretend, the standby... ♥ moini + (2) click here if youre super cool(: 11:13 PM
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the days. click: FOLLOW ME!(: escape. facebook.♥ tumblr.♥ bebo.♥ ASPIRE Aspiring Film Maker. Media Arts and Production student. I love reading the goofs on imdb.com :) film is my language. Sci-fi. I like staying at home most of the time, not really a city goer or late-night partier. I apologise if that sounds vaguely mundane and boring to you. I like to read and just being with my guitar. I would enjoy nothing better than to sit at home with donuts, fairy bread, pizza and sushi to watch movies. Other than that, i wouldn’t mind occasional festivals and visits to the theme park. When I buy DVD's, I always get the 2 disc editions, because I love all the behind the scene footages - it amazes me everytime :) I like seeing new things and experiencing it - just for the thrill of it. But, im not great with fears so I tend to shy away from those… |