♥ Seventeen Forever

~~yesturday~~ yesterday night, again was very unpleasant as soon as i shut my eyes, for the nightly hours of rest and revival. my dream started off once again with the people at school and me running to cross a finish line to complete the HSC. much to my terror, we were assigned to compete in a lit up underground tunnel, where there was a time limit set. so we start off and everyones racing for their places at university and glory while i was left struggling to even keep up with myself. my legs started to ache and shriek in agony, not even half way through. there were people already across the line and i havnt even reached half way. i began to panic, i tried to cling on to this desperate hour, trying to gain on the people miles ahead of me. suddenly everything went cold. the time limit was up, fear suffocated me as i was plunged into complete darkness. fear gripped me, it ran through my veins. fear, taking control of my legs, which bent my knees sending me crashing to the cold hard concrete ground. no eyes could become accustomed to the darkness of the hole. i tried to scream, but my voice caught in side my chest. my heart was pounding. i felt my eyes bulge as terror still raced through my body, afraid of whats going to happen to me in the dark, scared for the ending.

then i woke up breathing hard, fear ebbing away when i realised i was in my room. it actually took my quite awhile to get my head around what i just dreamt about. i was actually scared, because most people know, i am terrified of the dark, i have to have someone with me.

im over it now. anyway, i am quite over school too.it makes me feel really pressured, since everyone has begun to be extremely competitive. it feels like i cant let anything slip or else i would slip right to the bottom of my marks): but, i am slipping. and sometimes its rather difficult to catch up. then i wonder how come i do so bad compared to people who have to juggle relationships with school work. family issues? i dunno, it sometimes seems like i always find something to blame or to accuse, just to make me feel better. i honestly dont want to ask people for help because i know they would think of me as annoying or stupid.

ngaww, i wanted this to be a happy post!i eat quite a lot these days with the weather getting chillier by the minute. it feels like im on the verge of hibernation, stock up on kilojoules before i dive in to subconsciousness for the next season. Need. To. Stop. Eating. So. Much.

STAR WARS TIME! : this is actually one of my favourite scenes from the ~~siths~~ sixth episode of Star Wars, when the Imperial Battle/Spacestation was about to be destroyed by the Rebellion Star Fighters, Darth Vader has searched his feelings and turned himself back to the good side and kills the Emperor(: hope the quotes are correct! LOL.

Darth Vader: Luke... help me take this mask off.

Luke: But you'll die.

Darth Vader: Nothing... can stop that now. Just for once... let me... look on you with my own eyes.

Anakin: Now... go, my son. Leave me.

Luke: No. You're coming with me. I'll not leave you here, I've got to save you.

Anakin: You already... have, Luke. You were right. You were right about me. Tell your sister... you were right.

Luke: Father... I won't leave you.

caramel latte + macadamia nut cottage cookies ♥