Friday, April 16, 2010

Stalking Stormtroopers.

Imagine the day you meet your dream boy, it might be spontanious or pre-planned. It doesnt really matter. But when you do, can you imagine your reaction, response, thoughts?

What would be running through your head? Nerves crawl up your system. Would all your words be muddled up? Your head start to feel empty as you start to float off in to his eyes, voice, his vibe... and when you realised you have half your mouth open, drool wetting your socks with your eyes locked upon his and end up looking at your feet, face flushed with your hair covering your face. Which then you wonder whether you have washed your hair that morning or the night before.

You wonder whether the boy is thinking the same. Whether he would ever, ever be your best friend. These hopes, anticipation and scenarios just run through your mind making a whirlwind. Then comes the introductions and your name ends up being peanut butter or the colour of his hair or eyes.

whenever i go out shopping with my mom now, she always points out things featuring Star Wars. ahh, i love her. there would be a pencil case with the Clone Wars on it, and she would be like "LOOK MOINI, STAR WARS! do you want it?". even though i dont exactly dig the Clone Wars, its nice of her to know i like Star Wars that much. and also at Jay Jays there was a guys t-shirt with a stormtrooper on it and she was like "LOOK, STAR WARS!" ... LOL even though she asked me why i liked boy things when she saw my podcast racer and starfighter figurine...

feels like this entire two weeks of luxury easter holidays has gone to a tragic waste. i have done nothing, gone out to no where apart from the easter show with my lovely father... and thats about it ): didnt study, literally did not pick up one important book to absord such knowledge that i would dearly need to catch up on when school starts again.

i think i have a really huge problem with dealing with nerves. i dunno though, coz if you told me to do something on stage, i would do it. but when it comes to exams and passing something, i totally flip. i screw up. and sometimes i screw up so bad, i keep thinking about it through the next attempt and stuff it again. i think im afraid of screwing up that i screw up even more. but when i tell myself to let go and chillax, i feel like ill be careless. then i just panic ):
two reccuring symptoms of moini you can tell when she is nervous:
1. my hands serially start to shake and get clammy. its like someone just popped a waterbomb in my hands.
2. its like my lungs close up and it makes it difficult for me to breathe hence having to take MASSIVE deep breaths that sound like depressing sighs.

as for the Human Centipede... no comment.

8:12 PM

the days.